5 Bad Parenting Habits You Unconsciously Make And What To Do About It
Parenthood is an entirely unexplored territory. Even if you’ve already interviewed older parents about their experience with their children, raising your own is a different ballgame. After all, every child is unique, each with their own personality. That’s why your parenting style must adapt to your child and their needs.
You may try to be the perfect parent for your child, but it’s inevitable to make a mistake. You may learn from your mistakes, but that doesn’t guarantee you’ll be free from making them again. However, you shouldn’t beat yourself up because of the mistakes you’ve made as a parent. As the adage goes, ‘to err is human; to forgive, divine.’
Parenting involves growing along with your child and re-examining your approach and parenting style. For your child’s well-being and your personal growth, consider reviewing your habits and see if you’re doing any of the following:
1. Being A Pushover
People throw tantrums when something doesn’t go how they want—with children more frequently than adults. Children have yet to develop the emotional restraint adults have so don’t be surprised if your child throws a loud tantrum in a public space.
Listening to your child crying and screaming can lead you to feel frustrated. A prolonged tantrum may test your patience, putting your parenting skills to the test. It’s easy to give in under pressure and succumb to your child’s demands, but this is the last thing you want to do, as this will backfire on you.
Once your child catches on that you’re willing to give in to their demands whenever they have a tantrum, they’ll likely repeat this behaviour because they know they’ll benefit from it. Furthermore, continuously giving in to your child’s tantrums may lead them to repeat this behaviour toward other adults in your family or school to get what they want.
Instead of complying with your child’s demands, try negotiating with them if they’re not asking for anything too outrageous. But if it’s completely unreasonable, you can try distracting them with other activities or taking them to a different environment with different stimuli. If it works, be sure to reward them positively for following directions.
2. Always Deciding For Them
Although young and inexperienced, children have unique thoughts and personalities, which will shine through the choices they make. That said, they may choose to do things you couldn’t imagine doing as an adult or a child. They may have entirely different preferences than yours, especially regarding the hobbies they enjoy or the subjects they like to study.
However, just because your child chooses differently than you doesn’t mean you have to impose your preferences on them. You may see it as a way to prevent them from making the same mistakes you did, but kids can learn from making mistakes—with your guidance, of course.
This doesn’t mean you should give your children free rein to every decision. After all, you still have to protect them from harm and danger. However, you can introduce them to independence from a young age for small decisions, such as letting them choose which toys to play with or what to wear for the day.
3. Not Giving Them Responsibilities
You may do most household chores or already have a set agreement with your partner. However, chores are never-ending, especially when you have a young tot. It’s easy to have impatience get ahead of you when your child messes up something you just finished cleaning. Instead of getting frustrated, you can take this opportunity to teach them how to pick up after themselves.
For instance, you can teach your kids to pick up the toys they’ve just finished playing with from age three. Once they’ve got the hang of this task, you can have them help you with the laundry or clearing the table. This is also a good way to build your kid’s self-confidence and sense of independence.
4. Making Comparisons
Some parents assume that competition is an excellent motivator for their children to improve. However, comparing your children might end up embarrassing them. Although it’s not your intention, this can make your child feel inadequate, affecting their self-esteem.
What’s worse is drawing comparisons among your children. Aside from shame, comparing them with their siblings may cause a rift in their relationship. There are better ways to motivate your children, such as praising them for their achievements and showing interest in their favourite activities.
5. Intimidating Them
Although they’re your children, losing your temper is easy, especially if they throw a tantrum or talk back. However, you should remember that your children have yet to develop their emotional responses and restraints fully.
Step back and take a deep breath if you feel like you’re losing your patience. Instead of focusing on whatever problem they caused, focus on your child. Talk to them on the same level. Towering over them might make them feel on edge, which causes them to be defensive. There’s no doubt how trying this process is. That’s why gentle parenting is much harder to accomplish.
Takeaway
Raising children is one of the most rewarding things in life. However, mistakes are inevitable in the years spent dedicated to their care. After all, no parent is perfect. Even if you have their well-being in mind, what you’re doing could affect them negatively. Thankfully, there are healthier ways of handling any issues you might have with your children.