What I Wish I’d Known About Menopause Before Having Kids

When I was pregnant with my first child, menopause was the last thing on my mind. I was busy with scans, sleepless nights, and figuring out how to manage on little energy. The thought of my body going through another big hormonal change years later didn’t cross my mind.

Now that I look back, I wish I had known more. Not to worry or plan too much, but just to be aware. I’ve realised that many choices and challenges I faced while parenting influenced how my body dealt with perimenopause later.

If you’re a mum in your 30s or early 40s, this is a good time to think about your future health. It doesn’t have to be scary or overwhelming. Here’s what I wish someone had shared with me.

Hormones Don’t Switch Off After Birth

Pregnancy is a hormonal rollercoaster, but it doesn’t end at birth. Your body keeps adjusting for months or even years. With postnatal recovery, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and stress, it’s easy to dismiss symptoms that might signal something more.

Looking back, I realise that some things I attributed to “just being a tired mum” were actually my body trying to get my attention. Menopause seemed far away, but those early signs were worth noticing.

Signs I Missed (and You Might Too)

It’s easy to miss the early signals of perimenopause because they can mimic everyday parenting fatigue. Here are a few I ignored:

* Feeling emotional or anxious for no clear reason
* Forgetting things more often or struggling to focus
* Periods getting shorter, longer, heavier or just unpredictable
* Constant tiredness, even after a good sleep
* A sudden dip in libido

Sound familiar? At the time, I blamed hormones leftover from pregnancy, the stress of juggling childcare, or even just getting older. But it turns out many of these are early signs that your body is starting to shift again.

Tracking symptoms might sound a bit much when you’ve already got your hands full, but even jotting a few notes in your phone can help you spot patterns and get support earlier if you need it.

The Link Between Lifestyle and Long-Term Hormonal Health

There’s no magic formula to breeze through menopause, but what you do now can make a real difference later. And the good news is, you don’t need a full lifestyle overhaul. Small changes can add up.

* Eat better, not perfect: Getting more fibre, leafy greens, and healthy fats can help balance your hormones naturally.
* Move your body, even a bit: A quick walk with the buggy, a few stretches during naptime, or dancing in the kitchen all count.
* Reduce stress where you can: I know this is easier said than done. Still, a five-minute break with tea or saying no to another birthday party can lower cortisol. This helps maintain hormonal balance.
* Sleep when you can: Broken nights come with little ones. However, a simple bedtime routine for yourself can make a difference.

Think of these things as building blocks. The better your foundation now, the more resilient your body can be when it faces the next hormonal shift.

Why Menopause Isn’t Just About Older Women

There’s a common idea that menopause only affects women in their 50s. In reality, perimenopause often starts much earlier—sometimes as early as your mid-to-late 30s. For some, symptoms show up even sooner due to genetics, certain health conditions or surgeries like a hysterectomy.

Because it’s not openly talked about, many women aren’t diagnosed or taken seriously. Symptoms are often mislabelled as stress or depression. That delay in care can make the experience harder than it needs to be.

This isn’t about panicking or expecting the worst. It’s just about being aware. If your mum or older sister had a tough time with menopause, it could mean you’ll start earlier too. That kind of knowledge gives you a head start.

Self-Care That Serves You Now and Later

The idea of self-care might make you roll your eyes when you’re just trying to make it through the day. But it doesn’t have to be about long baths or spa days.

Real self-care is often boring but effective. It’s things like:

* Saying no without guilt
* Asking for help, even if it’s hard
* Drinking more ‘live’ water than coffee
* Getting fresh air at least once a day
* Going to your check-ups

Doing these things now gives you a better chance of managing your hormones smoothly in future. It’s not selfish, it’s smart. You’re not just a mum, you’re still you - and you matter.

What I’d Tell My Younger Self

If I could go back in time and give myself a little pep talk, I’d say this:

“Don’t wait until things get rough to learn about your hormones. They’re a huge part of your wellbeing, and they don’t disappear once the baby is born. Keep an eye on how you feel, ask questions, and don’t dismiss changes just because you’re busy. You deserve to feel good - not just survive.”

And I’d also say: “Talk to your mum. Ask her what menopause was like for her. It might feel awkward, but you’ll be glad you did.”

Where to Go for Help or More Info

If something doesn’t feel right, speak to your GP. You know your body best. You can also use free hormone tracking apps to spot patterns and help make sense of symptoms.

And when you do reach that stage of life, there’s help available. The Big M UK Directory is a simple, searchable website that lists menopause specialists across the UK. You might not need it now, but saving it for later is a smart move.

Final Thoughts

Being a mum comes with all kinds of demands, but your health should still be a priority. Menopause may feel like something far off, but the choices you make today can shape how it affects you tomorrow.

You’re doing an amazing job raising your children. Just don’t forget you’re still evolving too.

Have you thought about your long-term health or spoken to anyone about menopause yet? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.