Finding Joy in the Journey: Embracing Motherhood's Ups and Downs
Motherhood is a unique and beautiful journey. One that is filled with moments of love, laughter, and learning. However, motherhood also comes with its fair share of challenges, from cluster feeding and sleepless nights to toddler tantrums and repetitive days.
If you are determined to truly find joy in motherhood every day, you need to embrace all of the ups and downs on the journey. Here are our tips for new mums and seasoned mothers alike. We hope they help you discover joy in your own mothering journey.
How to Find Joy in Motherhood
When you’re sleep-deprived, still in postpartum recovery, or your toddler won’t stop whining, it’s easy to wish for the day to be over. Motherhood can be exhausting. It can feel relentless and all-consuming and some days when the laundry is piling up and the house is a mess, it can be hard to find your joy.
However, finding those moments of joy is essential. Finding joy gives you strength and resolve to keep doing your best. It allows you to be present with your children as they walk through challenges in their own lives. And it reminds you that time passes quickly and soon enough your children won’t need you in the same way they do now.
So, to help you find joy and make the most of your time with your children, here’s some advice for new and seasoned parents alike. We’re sharing some of the ways you can embrace the ups and downs of motherhood.
Always Stay Thankful
Practising gratitude has many benefits. According to Psychology Today, “People who are grateful feel less pain, less stress, suffer insomnia less, have stronger immune systems, experience healthier relationships, and do better academically and professionally.” As such, practising gratitude is important.
Many women find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal. This is a journal where you write down things you are thankful for. It doesn’t have to be big things. It can be small things such as, ‘today it was sunny’ or ‘I had more energy than normal’. Gratitude journals keep your perspective turned towards the good things in your life, rather than letting you dwell on the negatives.
Another simple way to practise gratitude is to keep a written record of those moments you want to remember. Whether it was something sweet your child said, a family adventure you took, or an unexpected hug, you should write down the moments you want to remember. It will help shift your perspective on harder days.
Accept that Some Days are Tough
Perhaps you’ve dreamed of being a mum since you were little or you had an idea in your mind of what motherhood might look like. And maybe it’s not all you thought it would be. That’s okay. In fact, many women experience these feelings at some point along their mothering journey.
It’s important to accept and acknowledge that, despite your best efforts, there will be tough days. Not everything will be perfect and your child won’t be happy every minute of the day. There will be times when no one has had enough sleep, the weather is miserable, and the hours feel like they’re dragging. Just remember, it will pass. Tomorrow is a new day.
Establish a Routine
Establishing a routine that works for your family can be transformative when you have young children. According to Headspace, “having a routine helps ensure you do things well.” Certainly, it is so much easier to find those moments of joy when you feel organised and more in control of your day.
Of course, you won’t have everything under control (show us a mother that does). However, establishing is great for instilling healthy practices in your children and a more harmonious home.
Get Rid of Unrealistic Expectations
One of the things that stops mothers from finding joy day-to-day is unrealistic expectations. When you expect too much, whether from your day in general or from your children, it can be hard to feel joyful when things inevitably don’t work out the way you thought they would. Whether you had a list of chores to get done or you expected your child to feel well-rested and energetic after a good night’s sleep, expectations can take away our joy.
It’s okay that you can’t maintain a clean and tidy home every day of the week. It’s okay that you spent the day at home with your kids. It’s okay to turn the TV on so that you can eat lunch in peace.
Letting go of unrealistic expectations and accepting that you don’t have to be the perfect parent, you just have to be good enough, is a game-changer. While it might mean you get less done, it will mean you feel more relaxed and happier as a result.
Take Time to Rest
Once the kids are in bed it can be tempting to tackle your long list of chores. While this isn’t a bad thing, it’s also important to make time to rest. Sit down and watch TV, read a book, have a bath, or even take yourself off to bed for a much-needed early night. When you are well-rested, you are far more likely to be joy-filled as a mum, even on the hard days.
We think Lullabies said it best when they shared: “By prioritising restorative sleep, mothers can better regulate their mood, improve cognitive function, and enhance their ability to handle the ups and downs of motherhood with resilience.”
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a transformative tool for mothers raising little children. It can help you stay calm in pressurised situations, remain level-headed during toddler tantrums, and find moments of joy on the tough days.
There are many ways you can practise mindfulness as a mother. The key is knowing that you don’t have to be alone. A few great ways to practise mindfulness during the chaos of motherhood include: reading your children a bedtime story, enjoying a walk together, throwing stones into the ocean, or talking about your day over dinner (to suggest a few).
Find and Build a Supportive Community
Motherhood, with all its ups and downs, can feel isolating at times. Whether you’re a first time mu, in the newborn phase and the days and nights seem to blur together or you’re navigating public meltdowns from your toddler and learning how to discipline a little person appropriately, finding a supportive community near you is essential.
There are so many ways you can connect with other mums. Whether you want a mum group to meet up with or mum friends you can chat to when being a mum feels tough, having a mum community is important.
Take Care of Yourself First
Whilst this might feel counterintuitive, taking care of yourself as priority is like putting your oxygen mask on first in a plane crash: it equips you to take care of others.
As a mother, it’s important to take care of yourself. If there are things you enjoy, do what you can to make time for them. By taking care of yourself and relaxing, resting, and making time for the things you enjoy, you will restore your energy levels and return to your mothering responsibilities with a newfound joy.
Finding Joy in Motherhood is Possible
The ups and downs of motherhood are many. We hope this article helps you rediscover all those joy-filled moments in motherhood so that you can treasure these times and make the most of these moments.